Can i not drive my cunt home
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
