a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
