that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
