and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize