im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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