Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
