my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
