That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
