did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
