I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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