I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
