Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
did you just send me my own nude
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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