Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
