Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
