All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize