You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I sprained my soul last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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