I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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