So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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