doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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