Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
