I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
