That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
