i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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