you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
