This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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