Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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