Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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