I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
