just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
