This show inspires me to have sex in space
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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