Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
