I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
