Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
