if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
