There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
