I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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