can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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