In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So vagazzling was a success
how drunk are you?
Several
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
