my mouth tastes like poor choices
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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