she smelled like a LAN party
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
