so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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