chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
