I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
