K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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