I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
