I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Screwed.edu
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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