I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
