I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize