How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
