just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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