Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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