i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize