I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
