butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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