tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize