My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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