Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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