good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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