So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
