Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize