Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
