Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
