Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
