i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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