fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
