My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
