Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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