Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
