did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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