Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
