question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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